I have been exactly where you are now and I am here to tell you that no matter how hard it gets, there is hope. I am living proof of that.
My life was totally destroyed and I had lost everything. Job, family, place to live, self respect. I had needed to do all the dehumanizing things that addicts do in order to survive.
What made me want to get help was that I had no other choice. I weighed less than 100 pounds, was probably days away from getting arrested and going to prison and still I could not stop shooting speedballs every fifteen minutes. It was a surprise, even to myself, that I was still alive.
But I did get help and today I have a wonderful life. I own my house, travel the world and am married to my soul mate and the love of my live.
Please do me a favor and click this link for Narcotics Anonymous. This is how you start. It can help you find a meeting full of people just like you who understand exactly what you are going through and can help or you can use their resources to help you find a rehab where you can detox and start getting your life together.
If I can do it, so can you.
Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. I give a damn.